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Wayne Rooney

“This is England football captain and hard man, Wayne Rooney. It was a proud day hanging with him. Despite him being so stiff the day after a match against Chelsea, he still managed a few bicycle kicks and acrobatics for me. Apparently, the sore legs thing for a few days after a match never gets any easier. I remember the football choreographer telling me to look at Wayne’s forearms, and that if he punched you, you’d die. I did, and you would.”